Living with flutes is a wonderful thing, but sometimes there are issues which need to be solved for your flutey cohabitation to run smoothly. You know the kind of thing:
- ¤Old Granny M's kicked the bucket and left you $1500, you want to buy a 'good' wooden flute and just can't be 'arrised to check out what flutes real players of a certain standard of excellence have invested their money, time and effort in...
¤You're handy with a dremel, and want to Prattenize the Ruddally tone-holes on your stick for that extra session volume everyone raves about, or maybe you're keen to put a thumbhole or two in your go-to-the-grave-keeper to save the tiresome hassle of cross-fingering...
¤You took the lid off the end of the flute and poked out the soft squishy thingy to see what it looked like, and the flute's not been the same since...
¤You want that wonderful honking reedy tone but can't be 'arrised to buy an oboe or a saxophone...
¤Or maybe your first flute is a shiny new McNotChud and it just doesn't sound right...
"Colin1" (not his real name, tax reasons you understand) is a professional who's been performing from the age of 12. Now 32, "Colin1" captivates his audiences with a style and technique developed over 20 years in music. Want to know what to do with that unexpected windfall? "Ask Colin!"™ Here's "Colin1" wowing the crowd.
"Colin2" (not his real name, tax reasons you understand) is also a professional and a regular in London's Covent Garden. A recording artist for the past 8 years, "Colin2" has perhaps the honkingest, buzzingest, growliest, hardest Hard Low D you're ever likely to hear. His tone is simply amazing, and he can vary the sound of his instrument just by varying his walnut-cracking embouchure! Here's "Colin2",ready and waiting let you know how to get the tone you've been dreaming of without buying an oboe or a sax.
"Colin3" (not his real name, tax reasons you understand) hails from the continent, and has been performing since childhood. Now 56, "Colin3" has been playing for half a century, and if there's a flute question to be asked, he's here to help!
Colin (his real name!) isn't a professional musician and plays for the love of it and 'the crack'. Colin's no stranger to the session scene, where he's very well known to the locals. Don't be put off by Colin's apparent youth, he's been performing from the age of 6 and his technique and embouchure control are astonishing. He's played a wide range of instruments, and chances are no matter what you have or are thinking to purchase, he'll tell you how to get the best out of it! And he has a certain musical sensibility too! Here's Colin!
No time for common sense? Simply can't make a decision? Google and 'search' take too long and you need it now? "Ask Colin!"™
These are just a few of our Colins, we have many! Remember, most of our Colins are professionals, they make a living from their performances and for tax reasons may not go by their real names. Remember, our Colins are available to take your questions at a street corner or subway near you during normal business hours, or right here 24x7.
No Colins were harmed in the making of this commercial. Any resemblance to real Colins, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any advice given by a Colin is for entertainment purposes only and should never be accepted at face value. If in doubt, always seek expert advice, from real experts. McChudco accepts no liability for any loss, financial or otherwise, or injury resulting from advice given, directly or indirectly, from any of its Colins. Advice can go down as well as up. McChudco Colins are not teachers and may in fact know nothing at all about flutes, wooden or otherwise.
"It might be a bit better to tune to one of my fiddle's open strings, like A, rather than asking me for an F#." - Martin Milner
