Piping Limericks

[patsky]

O.K pipers lets see what you got. Original piping limericks please. Here are a couple to start... I just could not get the last line.

I guess you could also include fiddlers or drummers.

All the best,
Pat Sky



There once was a piper from Clare
Who was trying to play a slow air
With a jump and a start
Let a crann like a f*rt
And finished it off with a flair

There once was a piper named Seamus
Whose piping was deadly and famous
He cold pipe anything from “God Save the Queen"
To ????

[Rob Sharer]

There once was a piper named Seamus
Whose piping was deadly and famous
He could pipe anything
From “God Save the Queen"
To ourselves out the door, and who'd blame us?

[tomk]

Or you could wind up famous , or they might try to frame us .

[tomk]

A piper named " joe " came to town
It`d been along time since he` been around
with pipes in full trimm he sat down
when he brought the house down ,
someone someone chimed in , over the din
thats nice , and
god save the queen .

[Patrick D'Arcy]

There once was a piper named Seamus
Whose piping was deadly and famous
He played “God Save the Queen"
And without grimace nor schneem
Would shoot chanter reeds out of his..... WHEY HEY!

[waymer]

There once was a vaudevillian named Seamus
Whose piping was deadly and famous
he'd put on black face
and play The Fox Chase
To delight Messrs. Andy & Amos

[Douglas]

Here are a couple of piper limericks I have come up with, I have other, nonpiper ones also. I guess I will have to edit a bit.

Dungathol Piper
There once was a piper from Dungathel.
Who played in a band from Athole.
But when he played in that band,
His piping wasn’t that grand,
And everyone said he’s an a _ _hole.

Kerry Piper
There once was a piper from Kerry.
People said when he played his pipes he was scary.
When his pipes were brought out.
The people would shout.
The piper is really quite surely.

or (His temper is worse than a grizzly.)

[NicoMoreno]

Jimmy O'Brien-Moran, Bill Haneman, Molly Hester and myself were sitting in a pub, drinking, at the Willie Clancy Week 2007. Between the four of us, we managed to come up with this one:

There once was a lad from Cantor
Who fell in love with a lass and her banter
But the evil young bitch
Preferred concert pitch
And cut an inch off the end of his chanter.

[Reepicheep]

Here's one:

There once was a piper from venus,
Whose chanter was shaped like a

...er... maybe not.

Here's another:

A woman from near Bantry Bay,
Hired a piper for her wedding day,
But the plan ran amok,
'cause his reg keys were stuck,
by spilled beer from last St. Patrick's Day.

[bensdad]

There was a fine piper named Ace,
Dropped the octave in every last place.
With Viagra procured
His top octave's assured,
Now he can't fit his pipes in his case.

[Brazenkane]

LOL nice one PH!

[Patrick D'Arcy]

There once was a piper named Claridge.....

[billh]

... remind me not to start drikning in the aftenroon

[Rob Sharer]

A stoned-out young piper named Bruno,
Said, "Pipes are one thing that I do know,
Highlands are fine,
Uilleanns, divine,
But hash-pipes are Numero Uno!"

[Rob Sharer]

An ugly old piper named Thag,
Once wooed a bodhran-playing hag,
Said he, with a grin,
"Lass, I'll moisten your skin,
If you'll come and season my bag!"