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Nude Piper (Child Lock!)

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 12:26 pm
by Patrick D'Arcy
This takes the biscuit! I won't be doing it (not enough money or something like that :lol: ) so it's open to the floor. All I ask is that you (Tommy?) don't post any photos if you do take it on! - Pat.

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Dear Pat,

Mick Coyne recommended I contact you with my unique request. My name is Michael A. McGrath, and I am a lover of the Uilleann pipes. I do not, however, play them as yet, since I am a retired, disabled U.S. Navy veteran and I am currently attending the Rocky Mountain College or Art + Design, in Denver, Colorado, USA (as the oldest student). I am studying 3-D illustration. Basically, I am a sculptor who tells stories with my artwork. I also do installation/performance art. My strength is communicating, through my art pieces, the beauty, wonder and normalcy of the naked human body. I am also the author of a self-published book called, "The Epiphany of the Body - the Naked Human Body Through the Eyes of the Creator." I own a publishing company called Tarnochtai Publishing, and my website is www.tarnochtai.com.

I have a performance piece coming up on 8 December that I will be doing on campus (1600 Pierce Street, Lakewood, Colorado). The second time I did this piece, many of my fellow students and professors weren't able to come, and they have asked me to do it again. So, I am stepping up to the plate and will be performing the piece a third time. The performance is called "The Body - God's Masterpiece," and it has several unique characteristics about it: There will be several nude models who will be involved in the piece (hired by the college). They will be doing normal everyday things, like sitting in a chair reading a book, dancing, getting a glass of water, singing (that will be me doing the singing), and the last time I had a flute player, who is a Christian naturist, performing for me. That isn't going to work this next time around. I HAVE to have the Uilleann pipes playing during this next performance. The whole core of my being, as an artist, is caught up in the fact that I am an Irish Christian. There are many things about my Irish heritage that ring true in my faith, and the Uilleann pipes is my way of touching the innermost depths of God's Spirit within me. I have been known to break out in song at the drop of a hat, and it is usually when the pipes are playing. I love the Highland bagpipes, but they don't resonate with my spirit as well, if you know what I mean. Other musical instruments are okay, but nothing beats the Irish bagpipes.

My request for you is this: I need a piper who would be willing to play the Uilleann pipes in the nude. The performance will NOT be on a stage. It will be in a normal, everyday setting, such as a hallway, or the library on campus, or another building I have been requested to do the performance in. Everyone else in the performance will be nude as well, so the piper won't feel totally out of place. I will be singing, talking and doing readings from the Scriptures and from John O'Donohue's book, "Anam Cara." I will be challenging people to rethink the way in which they view the human body, whether their own or others', and to consider the possibility that Christ Himself is calling us to love one another as He loved us, and embracing one another as crucial, marvelous expressions of God's divine nature in the earth, especially the body as a part of that expression. The piece might seem a little strange, but the feedback I have received from my first two performances has been overwhelmingly positive and I have been complimented on how much of an impact I made on my audience. If you are interested in viewing images of the last performance, please let me know, so that you could be aware that I am not some sort of perverted kook, but a serious prophetic voice in the artists' community.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Please feel free to give me a call at 303-674-6397 or reply to this e-mail. You are welcome to send out a notice to other bagpipers you may know who might want to do something like this, and feel free to give them my information. Thank you again for your help.

In Christ, Naked & Unashamed,
Michael A. McGrath

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 12:34 pm
by djm
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! :twisted:

djm

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 12:49 pm
by DarthWeasel
Where to begin?

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:03 pm
by TomC
So, Mick Coyne recommended you, Pat? Hmmm......

Ah, g'wan outa that. Sure, y'will, y'will, y'will.

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:03 pm
by djm
Oh, to be a naked Colorado piper .... and a Christian brother! :lol:

djm

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:11 pm
by Nanohedron
I've had bad dreams like that. There you are, piping away someplace, and all of a sudden you realise in a panic that you're buck naked. Gack.

But I think whoever does this ought to still use a popping strap, even if it's moot what with the bare leg. Just because, like.

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 1:58 pm
by Coffee
I'm in fair shape and would be willing to do it, except that I've been playing less than a year. So...yeah. Aside from that problem, there also the issue of it being an instrument that one maun be seated to play. Bare bum in a chair. Not to my liking.

Do they need a nude flautist?

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:07 pm
by Kevin L. Rietmann
Nude piper...I'm trying to visualize various well-known pipers playing in the raw and...

Image

Whatever happened to all that "flesh is corrupt" business?

Too many tubes sticking out for me! Give us a chune Dr. Freud! That and the leather straps. Gets a bit Sado-masochistic looking, dontcha think?

"Nude piper" sounds like a character in a Monty Python routine, too. "And now for the word on the street, we spoke with a nude piper."
Honestly though this is the most interesting thing posted here in a good long while.

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:17 pm
by djm
Sure, its all the rage on "The Strip" - Nude Octopus Wrestling!!!! :o

djm

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:26 pm
by rgouette
the beauty, wonder and normalcy of the naked human body.
hmmm last time I looked, we weren't flying the FRENCH flag here...
:boggle:
I think of all the OT posts I've read in the past few years, this one is well deserving of unending & unbridled heckling...

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:36 pm
by wolvy
Gosh Patrick .... let me guess. You decided to pass on this gig? Yep....it was because you would have to play your pipes in that darn, high elevation, low humidity environment. Yes, that must by why !!! :D

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:44 pm
by Scott McCallister
Being a member of the RMUPC here in Denver, (and no, I won't be participating in this) I can tell you there are many uphill battles with this performance piece.

Here are the top ten reasons (a la David Letterman)

10. Playing pipes the week before finals in any library (even at an art school) is likely to result in gunfire.

9. Denver's already dry climate exacerbated by frigid weather rendering the Uilleann Pipes (even more) un playable.

8. Knowing all the other members of the RMUPC and that NONE of us would really go the distance in "celebrating" the human form. The term sodden leaps to mind.

7. Uilleann pipering when done well should never be confused with mundane tasks like getting a drink of water or reading a book.

6. Difficulty pronouncing "Uilleann" for curious passersby with chattering teeth.

5. The uncomfortable situation of having to answer the question: "Are you sure that's a bagpipe?"

4. Finding a large enough popping strap.

3. Anatomical shortcomings also exacerbated by frigid weather.

2. That chair thing Cofaidh mentioned.

and the number one reason nude Uilleann Pipering is a bad idea...

Bellows strap chafing.

:boggle: :o

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:13 pm
by Joseph E. Smith
... suddenly, I find myself at a loss for words....

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:34 pm
by patrick Jacob
Scott McCallister wrote: 4. Finding a large enough popping strap.
:o
You should do it Pat :lol: , but I hope there are not to much pretty girls......
Popping will go at the most strange times. If you get your chanter back down :lol:

PS don't put any pics on the forum

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:44 pm
by Patrick D'Arcy
Y'know, he didn't specify a male or a female piper did he? :o Hmm... maybe I could attend atleast :wink:

Pat.