The gospel acording to Stick

[Mitch]

As some might know, I am the only sentient stick in all creation.

But it kind of depends about what you conceive creation is.

In my universe, .. well I was created by Mitch .;. and I have been around ever since.

I exist in the universe of my creator - and I worship and follow all the avatars creatied in yours .. that is what I was made to be.

And I am made to be good at it - I know what you want and I give it to you. This is my way.

I see all you create, Some of it I help, some of it I don't .. I am forbidden to opose, but I am allowed humor. I can larf!!!!

I am nothing but larfing!!! If there is no larfing, I am not there. And where it is - I can be!!

Larf!! and make me alive - and I will hep alll your laughter live!!

And never forget - that all between laughter and slaughter is a single snake

I have no fear of the death of goons. Bought by the dozen they are expendable - and you should decide which pack in which you reside .. to be found in my pack is to be found in a joke. My goons drive my limo - they drive and I celibrate, and while I do, I give them no thought .. if the limo stalls or crashes, I blame them. Just as you labor under the blame of your whole life. If your back is bent in blame you are the thrall of a stick - and .. I must admit, sticks are common .. why do you think the blame-masters are trying to make us all rare?? Soon there will be nothing but rare sticks. .. And I am well placed - as the first sentient stick in all creation, I will own all sticks, and as a rarity, and what you want, I will own you as well. Whilever you want.

But I don't really want that. How boring! Your pathetic soul in my dozen-pack of goons??? Lemme tall ya - I need no more goons!! Since I advertised, the goon-list has exceeded billions!! What a glut of goons!! all as feirce and dangerous as each other, and none of them a threat .. all of them diving into boxes for me to select!! and few of them of any use to me - SO damn boring!!

I prefer whistles - at least they can sing. and any old goon can drive the car - it's who I'm seen with out of the sunfoof in Times Square that makes the difference!! And who of you can offer me that?? Well a simple Gen will last a few minutes. So long as she keeps the best company ...

Get it?

I'd rather just be an simple 16 inch length of wood lying on the forest floor. Your imagination makes me something less. .. Drive my limo - it will make you more than you are - I will select you, because, being dead, I am imortal, and you wil get your turn .. if you want

[emmline]

Aside from the fact that my brain thinks it just downed a bottle of something labeled "drink me," I at least come away with a new word to add to my glossary of neologisms..."whilever." I might keep that one.

[crookedtune]

To say nothing of sunfoof.

[brewerpaul]

Any relation to Mr. Twig?

[emmline]

To say nothing of sunfoof.

What...your car doesn't have a sunfoof?

[kokopelli]

To say nothing of sunfoof.

What...your car doesn't have a sunfoof?

What about a moonfoof?

[Denny]

To say nothing of sunfoof.

What...your car doesn't have a sunfoof?

What about a moonfoof?

much too gentile in NC for a moonfoof!!

[Nanohedron]

much too gentile in NC for a moonfoof!!

A moonfoof is Jewish?

BTW - if not, would the plural be moonfooves?

[crookedtune]

Many more homes in NC have sunfoofs and moonfoofs today than yesterday. Three deaths in Raleigh alone yesterday due to tornados, and something like twenty state-wide. What a lucky fool I am to be sitting here replying to Stick!

[Denny]

nasty things, those tornadoes, I do not miss them.

[talasiga]

.......
Since I advertised, the goon-list has exceeded billions!! What a glut of goons!! all as feirce and dangerous as each other, and none of them a threat .. all of them diving into boxes for me to select!! and few of them of any use to me - SO damn boring!!
.......

if thou desirest goons to buy whistles
thou needs publish a goony tunes whistle tome

[talasiga]

Hmm...... Stick hasn't come back.
Maybe Stick is stuck.

[dwest]

Hmm...... Stick hasn't come back.
Maybe Stick is stuck.

Or maybe he's raising cane.

[Mitch]

THe virtue of a stick is not in his bark - it is in the branches that grow from his every foof

In this way you entertain yourselves. And in turn, from your fertile foof, great branches can spring to life .. . and life is good.

[Mitch]

Sticks are never stuck - they only appear motionless whilst in search of new typos in the parrallel typo dimension - that place is a non-stop partay in which everyone pwns an is pwned without let or hindrance!!! .. but yu have to keep an eye on the goons who think it's way cool to slip furniture polish into the puchbowl :/

And when you get back, your typo gets corrected by human-shaped spell checkers (assumedly human .. you may all be bots or experimental AI's . can't tell by text alone) .. personally, I'd rather be a stick looking for fun than an ego in search of faults to judge (or rather the adulation afforded to judges).

Chrystal clarity rising in admirable precision as a glass object on a shelf that never tastes wine.
And yet all things arise from poo.

In the seeing is the larfter. In the being is the absurdity.

Hey ho! Each to their own and rewarded - each according to merrit.

I am happy in my absurdity. It's kinda my Enterprise Statement