I got the Bluuuuues.....

Sober Sam · Post by **Sober Sam** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 2:55 pm

Well, I thought I'll head down to the Poststructural Pub, have a few Poststructural Pints (what does poststructural mean anyway?) and get this off my chest:
There's this girl - well, woman actually. Met her years ago at a musical production. We kept on seeing each other accidentaly over the years, say, about every other year. And I always thought, "there is something there" but nothing ever happened. I just saw her again a couple of weeks ago. We had a pleasant chat and this time I found her on facebook, so I'm keeping kinda in touch.
She's sweet, intelligent, funny, musical and likes to eat meat! But the last few days she's been ignoring me completely. And I hate being ignored. It's an awful downer.
Any advice? (I am very clumsy when it comes to women)

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:47 pm

Clumsiness isn't a detriment, unless you deal with it by being "distant." Use it to your advantage! Be charmingly clumsy--that can be appealing.

Also, are you at all geeky? If so, be geekily clumsy! That's a sure-fire winner in my book. Not only do you get a man who is unlikely to stray, but you get one who's devoted and can change a lightbulb, too.

If she's not aware of this, you may have to inform her.

Sober Sam · Post by **Sober Sam** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:56 pm

Am I geeky? I am a total guitar geek! But I really totally ruined a date once by lecturing about Brian May's Guitar for hours. A topic that I find absolutely fascinating and - until that night - couldn't imagine to be absolutely uninteresting for anyone else.

mutepointe · Post by **mutepointe** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 5:00 pm

Some men make better husbands than boyfriends. A smart women should know which she's looking for.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 5:21 pm

Sober Sam wrote:Am I geeky? I am a total guitar geek! But I really totally ruined a date once by lecturing about Brian May's Guitar for hours. A topic that I find absolutely fascinating and - until that night - couldn't imagine to be absolutely uninteresting for anyone else.

Uh oh! Asperger's? If so, just recognize the tendency and avoid talking at all until you've charmed her to the point she thinks it's cute.

Here's a technique you can use. While walking along, simply point out things as you pass and get her to talk about them. "Oh, look! The Alps! Have you ever been there?" "Oh, look! A bakery! Have you ever bought their bread?" "Oh, look! Eidelweiss! First of the season!"

If you're indoors, simply ask questions about her life, her family, her interests. These things can be difficult to think up on the spot, so make a list. If you put it in your cell phone's planner, she'll think you're just checking your email, when in reality you're getting the next conversational cue.

If all else fails, just make sure your dates consist of dinner and a movie., dinner and a concert, dinner and the festival, etc.

I'm glad I mentioned cell phones. I need to post a question about that.

tansy · Post by **tansy** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 5:46 pm

mutepointe wrote:Some men make better husbands than boyfriends. A smart women should know which she's looking for.

I'm a better boyfriend, thanks for making me realize this.

Sober Sam · Post by **Sober Sam** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 5:48 pm

Hey, those are some good ideas!
And I like the picture you have of Switzerland! Heidiiiiii.....

I live in Basel. That's on the northern Border to France and Germany. I'm planning to go to Germany for Dinner with her.
You can't see the alps from here. But I can ride my bycicle to France and Germany within about a half an hour which is kinda cool too.
Oh, and what does Asperger's mean?

djm · Post by **djm** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:40 pm

Oooooo! Brian May's guitar?

Can I come, too?

djm

fel bautista · Post by **fel bautista** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:09 pm

Darn- I thought this was a thread on San Francisco Bay Blues by Jesse Fuller

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:29 am

Sober Sam wrote:Hey, those are some good ideas!
And I like the picture you have of Switzerland! Heidiiiiii.....
I live in Basel. That's on the northern Border to France and Germany. I'm planning to go to Germany for Dinner with her.
You can't see the alps from here. But I can ride my bycicle to France and Germany within about a half an hour which is kinda cool too.
Oh, and what does Asperger's mean?

She means me. Among other things. Aspergers is one of the terms to describe High Functioning Autism. Sometimes Dyspraxia is involved. It's also known as "Mad Scientist Syndrome" which is a pretty good shorthand for the effects. People with this condition suffer from Sensory Overload, find it difficult to read facial expressions, have difficulty with idomatic expressions and find their concentration operates with a kind of "tunnel-vision" - wonderful for doing maths, and solo music, terrible for doing child-minding and group music. We also tend to go off into long discourses about things we find interesting and fail to notice the hearers eyes glaze over.

You mind find it useful to take this test.

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:08 am

Innocent Bystander wrote: You mind find it useful to take this test.

I just spent ages carefully filling out that test, then it didn't work and I got upset. Perhaps that is the real test?

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:35 am

No, sorry Chris. It's an old site. But the questions themselves should give you the idea.

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:42 am

Innocent Bystander wrote:No, sorry Chris. It's an old site. But the questions themselves should give you the idea.

It gives me the idea that I want to find another test. To be honest it describes most behaviour traits that could be attributed to common or garden geeks like myself.

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 5:55 am

Here's another test (very similar):
http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test

I scored 29. Apparently scores over 32 indicate likely Aspergers or high functioning autism. 21 is an average male or female computer scientist and 18 is an average male. So I'm well above the average for my sex and occupation.

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 5:59 am

Here's Wiki on Aspergers. Join us, Chris! We could be the European version of "Big Bang".