Mrs Talasiga's Diary

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I am going assess this topic's vaiability by taking your poll choices as a sample. Please pick the one that best describes your reading experience of the first excerpt from Mrs T's Diary.

Poll ended at Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:23 pm

fun breakfast reading
4
17%
lightly enjoyable
7
30%
hilarious
0
No votes
fatuous and banal
1
4%
narcissitic idea
5
22%
couldn't finish reading it
5
22%
thanks for sharing
0
No votes
none of the above but positive
0
No votes
none of the above but negative
1
4%
 
Total votes: 23

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talasiga
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Mrs Talasiga's Diary

Post by talasiga »

She who must me obeyed has given me permission to post this excerpt from her diary. Stuff in square brackets is to protect the reputation of the towns being referred to so as they will not become tainted by association with me. Talasiga is also in brackets because she actually writes my real name in her diary.

I thought some might enjoy reading this. It made her elderly aunts laugh and giggle a lot. (they know all the roads in these remote parts.)
Mrs Talasiga in her Diary wrote:
We set out at 7 am – early for us – with two aims: buy 50 kg of potatoes from the [Regional Town] Farmers’ Markets and attend the Aikido class near [Highland Village] at 9 am. [Talasiga] had studied the map and decided that this was achievable within 2 hours by taking the road which runs from [Regional Town] to [Picturesque Plateau] and across to [Highland Village].
“That man in the service station was stupid”, he declared as we left [Regional Town], “he says it’ll take 2 hours to get to [Highland Village].” “Well” I ventured hesitantly, “he could be right.” It was 8.15 am – we had under an hour to get there. Apart from some flute music on the cassette player, we drove on in peaceful contemplation of the surrounding farmland.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he mused as we climbed ….. up onto the [Picturesque Plateau], “this road may be winding but look at it – its sealed, has a gutter between the road and the cliff and a safety rail between the road and the drop-off.”
“What?” I asked – given that I hadn’t actually said anything to prompt this declaration.
“You said that the road from [Picturesque Plateau] across to [Highland Village] is steep, winding and difficult: this road is luxury compared to the roads we had in Fiji when I was a kid.”
“Yes, that’s right – I’m referring to the road on the other side of the plateau – not this one.”
[Talasiga] remained unconvinced. Having passed through [a township] we took a left hand turn and commenced our journey down the valley between the [two] Plateaux. The road twisted and turned but generally behaved itself. After about 10 mins we had reached the bottom and turned right. The tar disappeared after a few kms but [Talasiga] was unperturbed: “In Fiji the roads were only single lane and didn’t have guideposts – this road is fine.”
And then the guideposts stopped. We hurtled on: less than half an hour to go and the road was deteriorating.
“Are you sure this is the right road?” the seed of uncertainty had sowed itself in [Talasiga]’s consciousness “This isn’t a forestry road is it?”
“No,” I assured him “this is the road I was talking about.” And then a ‘Road Narrows’ sign appeared and the road became single lane – no place to pull over – a steep cliff on one side and a jungle drop off on the other. Bronze-winged pigeons flashed through the rainforest canopy which draped lazy lianas onto the car roof.
“Ah – this takes me back!” exclaimed [Talasiga] as we swerved and jerked around potholes the size of small lakes.
At 9 am we emerged onto the [Highland Plateau], only short one wheel cover, and headed out of [Highland Village] in search of the Aikido class. More potholes but no cliffs.
“Keep your eyes peeled”, warned [Talasiga] “the hall is below the road on the right – you can only see its roof.”
Fortunately, the hall was also well signposted……. An hour after setting off we pulled in amongst the half dozen cars already there – including a hire car, which struck me as odd. Removing our shoes we made our way up to the stage and watched silently as the class went through their exercises. A man with a long dark ponytail sat on the other side of the stage intent on studying the class. At the end the teacher invited [Talasiga] and the other man to join in a ‘mini class’
“Since you’ve come all this way”, said the teacher.
“Yes, we’ve been on a long journey” [Talasiga] exclaimed.
“This chap has come further.” The teacher noted. “Where has he come from?” I asked.
“Canada” said the teacher.
……
Last edited by talasiga on Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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mutepointe
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Post by mutepointe »

I want to read the whole diary. I want there to be a movie. Give me some time to think about it and I'll tell you who should star in the movie. But the car is definitely an older small white compact. The potatoes could take up the whole back seat and become a character themselves.
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Post by Lambchop »

This was fun. Where is the rest?

There was commendable Wodehouse-ian flavor to this. I enjoyed the travelogue atmosphere, especially the bit about road conditions and jungle vines. There were no descriptions of giant pythons or any other creatures of the 48-volume set "Deadly Fauna of Australia," which I found somewhat disappointing. Just a thought for next time, you understand.

I might suggest changing the thread subject from "Mr's" to "Mrs." As it stands, it suggests the diary is that of Mr. Talasiga himself, which might be off-putting to some readers. That's just my opinion, of course.

Oh, and please explain why you took potatoes on this trip. Were they emergency rations in case you ran off the road? I remain confused about that.
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Post by emmline »

Lambchop wrote: Oh, and please explain why you took potatoes on this trip. Were they emergency rations in case you ran off the road? I remain confused about that.
Please note as well, that 50 kgs of potatoes is the equivalent of 110 lbs.
I find it hard to use 2 lbs before they sprout, but then, I'm lazy.

Still, Mute is right. The potatoes, by weight, are equal to a third character in the automobile portion of this vignette. Did they enjoy the Aikido?
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Post by talasiga »

Yes mutepoint, the sack of spuds is a character unto itself. Unfortunately I will eat its contents over the fortnight and its bitterness at these acts of vegetarian cannabalism will rub off into some parts of my personality.

Lambchop, thanks for pointing out the typo about "Mrs". I have fixed it now. The fact is I rarely (like never?) refer to her as Mrs so it is understandable that, as I was posting the title and first post, while eating my extended brunch, I got the thing wrong. I am inclined to use Ms more often but had I said Ms Talasiga you may have thought it was the diary of one of my daughters.

I promise some more excerpts from her diary, maybe next week. I can't promise they will be all about yours truly. She may touch on other fauna about the place. After all, she has a degree with zoology major.

Emmline, I am not going to pay for the potatoes to take Aikido lessons. They are perfectly capable of rolling around on the ground without hurting themselves.
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Post by mutepointe »

Starring in the Movie:

Mr. Talasiga
Image
Ethank Hawke

Mrs. Talasiga
Image
Courtney Cox

The Potatoes
Image

The Car
Image
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Post by Whistlin'Dixie »

Oh, Man! I will definately see that film!!!!!!

I really enjoyed the diary excerpt and will look forward to the next one :party:

M
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Post by emmline »

The Aikido instructor:
Image
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talasiga
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Post by talasiga »

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Post by mutepointe »

That vista will come in handy in the dream sequence when Mrs. Talasiga "offs" Mr. Talasiga.
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Post by jw wren »

:wink: That was fun - I do like the pictures !
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Post by jw wren »

The sack of potatoes is already lining up for the oscars

http://www.potato2008.org/
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Post by talasiga »

jw wren wrote:The sack of potatoes is already lining up for the oscars

http://www.potato2008.org/
I noticed the other day you didn't eat all of your baked potato.
:(
Why is it that I can eat two or three and you can hardly get through one?
Have you been secretly eating cakes between meal times?
Hmm?
:evil:
If you keep this up I am not going to post excerpts from your diary.
You can do it yourself (if you dare). :P
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Post by Lambchop »

talasiga wrote:
jw wren wrote:The sack of potatoes is already lining up for the oscars

http://www.potato2008.org/
I noticed the other day you didn't eat all of your baked potato.
:(
Why is it that I can eat two or three and you can hardly get through one?
Have you been secretly eating cakes between meal times?
Hmm?
:evil:
If you keep this up I am not going to post excerpts from your diary.
You can do it yourself (if you dare). :P
Oh, my! Mrs. T! Hello! It's certainly nice to meet the other half.
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Post by jw wren »

Hello Lambchop - nice to meet you too.

Did you ever watch the Shari Lewis show (a long long time ago) - she had a sock puppet called Lambchop - it was very cute.
This was fun. Where is the rest?
I'm glad you liked my recollection of our trip into the hinterland but I'm not quite sure what you mean by "Where's the rest?". Sadly, as my diary is true, the rest of the story is rather mundane... although we did meet an interesting woman at the waterfall after the class (but that's another story).
There was commendable Wodehouse-ian flavor to this.
It hadn't occurred to me but yes, you're right - Wodehouse would've appreciated this situation. Toad-of-Toad-Hall also springs to mind.
Oh, and please explain why you took potatoes on this trip. Were they emergency rations in case you ran off the road? I remain confused about that.
Yes, I'm afraid as impressive as a 50kg sack of potatoes may be, they did get a rather small mention in the diary. As Mr T says he does rather rely on them as his staple diet and these are particularly good potatoes. Buying them in bulk brings the price down to about $1 / kg which is very good here at present.

Bye for now,

JW
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