Chiff and Fipple Forums

In yesterday's Globe and Mail, in their Social Studies section there was this interesting tidbit.

THE POWER OF WIVES

"Internet message boards and blogs, says the Atlanta Jounal-Constitution, are filled with married men pining for certain toys and commiserating with others about the dreaded WAF ---WIFE ACCEPTANCE FACTOR.
Until recently, WAF was a taboo issue for many men to discuss, less one be branded a big wimp. "It's always been there," says Michael Tchong of San Francisco-based Ubercool, which tracks lifestyle and market trends. "but has not been formally documented until the Internet provided the necessary anonymity for men to talk about this. You never want to tell another guy your wife won't let you buy something."

So who here amongst you married guys has WAF and are willing to talk about it?

I had just the opposite in my marriage, the wife couldn't and wouldn't stop spending. One day I said NO! Her response, "Nobody says NO to me!" With that, she left seven months later.

MarkB

MarkB wrote:In yesterday's Globe and Mail, in their Social Studies section there was this interesting tidbit.

THE POWER OF WIVES

"Internet message boards and blogs, says the Atlanta Jounal-Constitution, are filled with married men pining for certain toys and commiserating with others about the dreaded WAF ---WIFE ACCEPTANCE FACTOR.
Until recently, WAF was a taboo issue for many men to discuss, less one be branded a big wimp. "It's always been there," says Michael Tchong of San Francisco-based Ubercool, which tracks lifestyle and market trends. "but has not been formally documented until the Internet provided the necessary anonymity for men to talk about this. You never want to tell another guy your wife won't let you buy something."

So who here amongst you married guys has WAF and are willing to talk about it?

Lest one be branded a wimp? The wimps are the guys who can't discuss things like this because they're insecure in their masculinity.

My wife and I always consult on large purchases, never on small purchases. As a consequence, we never fight about money.

MarkB wrote:With that, she left seven months later.

Congrats. Its really the best solution for all parties involved. Now you can spend the money on more important things, like pipes.

djm

In my former marriage, I earned less than my ex-wife, so it was always on my mind. It was more self-imposed really, because I am that kind of guy....

chas wrote: Lest one be branded a wimp? The wimps are the guys who can't discuss things like this because they're insecure in their masculinity.

My wife and I always consult on large purchases, never on small purchases. As a consequence, we never fight about money.

I concur. Though she wasn't originally too happy about my buying a new mountain dulcimer. She got over it.

I don't complain about how much my wife spends on her hobbies (quilting and knitting), and she doesn't complain about how much I spend on my hobbies (music, hiking, kayaking). It works for us.

Of course, it helps that we're both careful to not spend more than we can afford, and to coordinate the big purchases. Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.

jsluder wrote:Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.

Then how do you know when you've won?

Darwin wrote:

jsluder wrote:Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.

Then how do you know when you've won?

Ah...by not being able to imagine being with anyone else?

Denny wrote:by not being able to imagine being with anyone else?

Unfortunately, it is usually men who think in such romantic terms.

djm

Oh, now, I don't think that's true.

djm wrote:

Denny wrote:by not being able to imagine being with anyone else?

Unfortunately, it is usually men who think in such romantic terms.

djm

Cynth wrote:Oh, now, I don't think that's true.

...works best as a duet

I had a lot to say here, and was going to write a really long post...but...my wife won't let me.

jsluder wrote:I don't complain about how much my wife spends on her hobbies (quilting and knitting), and she doesn't complain about how much I spend on my hobbies (music, hiking, kayaking). It works for us.

Of course, it helps that we're both careful to not spend more than we can afford, and to coordinate the big purchases. Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.

My wife and I take care of finances about the same way. She still works as a teacher and I am almost retired, I still work part time. And like blackhawk said I do not have a lot of time for details here. I washed and dried six loads of laundry today and need to fold them before they cool. My wife and sons can put them away. I am done.

jsluder wrote:I don't complain about how much my wife spends on her hobbies (quilting and knitting), and she doesn't complain about how much I spend on my hobbies (music, hiking, kayaking). It works for us.

Of course, it helps that we're both careful to not spend more than we can afford, and to coordinate the big purchases. Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.

Ditto -- my wife is into sewing and music; I'm into music and brewing/vinting (the latter of which I do for her).

Tommy wrote:I washed and dried six loads of laundry today

Oh, damn, man, I feel for ya.

Actually, my wife somewhat enjoys laundry (especially since I got her the front-loader after extensive consultation), which I detest; I love cooking, which she has no love for, so everybody's happy.

The other night, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and I get a little frisky, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to lie next to me and hold me."

My brilliant retort was something along the lines of "Huh??"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear. "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman."

Obviously nothing was going to happen that night; so I snuggled up and went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her so she'd know I was interested in more than just what we did in the bedroom. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a Macy's. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to get them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. I knew she was testing me when she said a new pair of earrings would be nice to go with the new outfits, so we went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited! I think she was afraid to push her luck any further as she finally said, "I think this is enough honey, let's go check out."

That's when I dropped the bombshell. "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man."

With all the money I saved, I got me a new whistle, so that I could while away those lonely hours on the couch.