A Modest Proposal
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A Modest Proposal
Selfie sticks are being banned at a number of places and events (Disney theme parks being the latest, as I understand), and arguably rightly so. After all, public safety and the invasion of personal space are very legitimate concerns, and then of course there's the matter of just plain bad taste; there is already crassness enough in the world, but to be obvious about it is particular cause for censure and even intervention. I mean - just as a thought experiment - consider Versailles without the ban. Yes. You know you'd want to kill them.
Here's a running list of venues where the ban is in force: The List
But surely we can do better than just banning these things; selfie-stickers have feelings too, so this is my proposal: We have dog parks, so why not stick parks? These photogenic folk can run free and be their natural-born selves without stigma in designated enclosures with their selfie sticks, happily clicking away at their various chosen panoramic removes. Get enough of them in one place and it would be like a conference of narwhals waving their tusks above the water. It would be an impressive sight to delight the onlooker, I should think. Everyone wins.
Here's a running list of venues where the ban is in force: The List
But surely we can do better than just banning these things; selfie-stickers have feelings too, so this is my proposal: We have dog parks, so why not stick parks? These photogenic folk can run free and be their natural-born selves without stigma in designated enclosures with their selfie sticks, happily clicking away at their various chosen panoramic removes. Get enough of them in one place and it would be like a conference of narwhals waving their tusks above the water. It would be an impressive sight to delight the onlooker, I should think. Everyone wins.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
Re: A Modest Proposal
I propose a much shorter list:Nanohedron wrote: Here's a running list of venues where the ban is in force: The List
The Known Universe
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. (Anything is more impressive if you say it in Latin)
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Re: A Modest Proposal
In the interests of full disclosure, I must admit that my proposal arises strictly out of theory because while I can well imagine it, I've never actually seen one in use except in photos. I doubt this means that when it comes to taste, my fellow Minneapolitans on the whole are a cut above. No: as much as I'd like to think so, it only means I haven't found myself venturing into selfie-stickers' natural habitats. Plain old hand-held selfies, on the other hand, are of course endemic wherever you go. It's charming in a quaint sort of way until they walk into you.
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Re: A Modest Proposal
Well, the Colosseum in Rome was full of selfie-stickers (that must be a new noun, surely?), but they weren't the biggest problem: The biggest problem was the selfie-stick sellers outside. Semi-aggressive, everywhere, in the way, etc.
Just checked the list - I see Colosseum has joined now. I wonder if that will help with the sellers, they tend to, er, stick to crowded places.
Just checked the list - I see Colosseum has joined now. I wonder if that will help with the sellers, they tend to, er, stick to crowded places.
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Re: A Modest Proposal
You know, it just occurred to me that a crowd bristling with selfie sticks could offer one the opportunity to observe natural selection at work. Maybe we've been looking at this the wrong way.Tor wrote:Well, the Colosseum in Rome was full of selfie-stickers (that must be a new noun, surely?), but they weren't the biggest problem: The biggest problem was the selfie-stick sellers outside. Semi-aggressive, everywhere, in the way, etc.
Just checked the list - I see Colosseum has joined now. I wonder if that will help with the sellers, they tend to, er, stick to crowded places.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
Re: A Modest Proposal
I simply don't bother with the sticks.
When I'm out and would like a photo, I simply ask a passerby if they would kindly take a picture. Most are happy to take a moment to do so.
I like it because it's social. We're social creatures, and taking a picture is such an easy way to be social.
Is that too much to ask ?
trill
When I'm out and would like a photo, I simply ask a passerby if they would kindly take a picture. Most are happy to take a moment to do so.
I like it because it's social. We're social creatures, and taking a picture is such an easy way to be social.
Is that too much to ask ?
trill
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Re: A Modest Proposal
I definitely need to get out more often... I didn't even know what selfie-sticks were until very, very, recently.
Selfie-sticks think stadium concerts... laser lights... audio blasting!
Selfie-sticks think stadium concerts... laser lights... audio blasting!
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Re: A Modest Proposal
You, sir, are an example of enlightened society.trill wrote:I simply don't bother with the sticks.
When I'm out and would like a photo, I simply ask a passerby if they would kindly take a picture. Most are happy to take a moment to do so.
I like it because it's social. We're social creatures, and taking a picture is such an easy way to be social.
Is that too much to ask ?
trill
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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Re: A Modest Proposal
I noticed the Tour de France isn't on the list. Given the number of accidents caused by people even without sticks, I would've thought it would be first on the list. I think it will be even more dangerous with sticks -- being struck by a stick/iPhone at 35 mph/60 kph has to be really nasty.
About sticks/selfies in general: Honestly, how vain can someone be?
About sticks/selfies in general: Honestly, how vain can someone be?
Charlie
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- benhall.1
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Re: A Modest Proposal
Selfies are pretty narcissistic. I have been known to take one but it's very rare. Generally, for me at least, alcohol has been involved. Selfie sticks should just be banned altogether. They're an abomination. If God had wanted us to have selfie sticks, he'd have given us ...
... oh wait ...
... oh wait ...
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Re: A Modest Proposal
To be fair, it's hard for me to entirely fault people for it if they present well in photos. I don't like photos taken of me (selfie or otherwise) because the camera does not love me and I deeply hate the result. If that's not vanity, I don't know what is. So...chas wrote:Honestly, how vain can someone be?
That said, the practise of selfying can be taken too far into immodesty, but it's not for me to gauge (and it's none of my business). As for vanity unchecked, I think all can agree that the selfie stick leaves no doubt of it. But you can't regulate vanity. The very notion is ridiculous, because take away the stick and the vain will still be vain. You can, however, regulate a hazard; hence my proposal of stick parks. Besides, it would be hilarious to behold.
I think it's time to put this idea before the city council. If nothing else, those ninnies could probably use a good laugh - if they're at all capable of it, which I somehow doubt. And they might just bite: this sort of nanny-state thing is right up their alley.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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Re: A Modest Proposal
I cannot think of a time I have been in the presence of someone selfie-sticking. It is rumored to be ubiquitous, but I cannot attest to that. It is possible I appear in only the worst places, where no one else would actually like to go.
As for selfies in general, I've been known to take them. Sometimes they're terrible, and I quickly obliterate their little digits. So there we have two proofs of vanity--1) I take them now and then, and 2) I disallow the bad ones.
I don't know what any of this signifies for society or my place in it.
As for selfies in general, I've been known to take them. Sometimes they're terrible, and I quickly obliterate their little digits. So there we have two proofs of vanity--1) I take them now and then, and 2) I disallow the bad ones.
I don't know what any of this signifies for society or my place in it.
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Re: A Modest Proposal
Killing two birds with one stone here: Selfie stick AND duckface.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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Re: A Modest Proposal
That is truly hideous. Is it supposed to be, do you think?