Chiff and Fipple Forums

chas wrote:1. A beer.

A female beer?

benhall.1 wrote:

chas wrote:1. A beer.

A female beer?

Ray, the guy who serves the beer,
Me, myself, I want a beer,
Far, too far to go for beer,
So, I want a @#$% beer,
La, la la la la la la,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer ...

MTGuru wrote:

benhall.1 wrote:

chas wrote:1. A beer.

A female beer?

Ray, the guy who serves the beer,
Me, myself, I want a beer,
Far, too far to go for beer,
So, I want a @#$% beer,
La, la la la la la la,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer ...

That will bring us back to ...


Hofbrauhaus Catastrophe by blakesamic, on Flickr

Doh!

I have a theory that the bigger the ta-tas are, the more attracted food and beverages are to landing on them. Notice how the guy stayed relatively dry.

mutepointe wrote:I have a theory that the bigger the ta-tas are, the more attracted food and beverages are to landing on them. Notice how the guy stayed relatively dry.

No, it's not that. It's how hard the clothes are to launder. Ta-ta size is irrelevant, but estrogen may factor in. Trust me on this.

2. for Boxing Day.

emmline wrote:

mutepointe wrote:I have a theory that the bigger the ta-tas are, the more attracted food and beverages are to landing on them. Notice how the guy stayed relatively dry.

No, it's not that. It's how hard the clothes are to launder. Ta-ta size is irrelevant, but estrogen may factor in. Trust me on this.

My theory is that it was because he was holding the cup that broke, and thus it broke on her side.

If I only had the dough.

Innocent Bystander wrote:If I only had the dough.

Do you have a copier?

As a last line to MTG's song.

I like 1, because when you sing that the 12th time, the silly song is finally over.

I learned this song way back when I was a kid and have no idea why I still remember it. I may have unwittingly changed it a little. I don't know who wrote it but could probably google it now and see. I try to sing it once a year when it's seasonally appropriate:
-------------------------------------------------------
On the first day after Christmas my true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite.
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The third day after Christmas my mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake for their language was obscene.
The five golden rings were completely fake and they turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas the six laying geese wouldn't lay
I gave the whole darn gaggle to the ASPCA
The seventh day what a mess I found
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect
I bundled up the
eight maids a-milking
nine ladies dancing
ten lords a-leaping
eleven pipers piping
twelve drummers drumming
(spoken: "Well, actually I kept one of the drummers")
and sent them back collect.
I told my true love, "We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the birds.
-------------------------------------------------------

As I remember, we sang this in music class in middle school or high school, and at the ending while one part sang "birds" others came in with a chorus of "four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

My sister and I used to sing this on the chairlift when we'd go skiing after Christmas in McCall, Idaho, in the late 1970's.

Here is one I've sung at the Bear Feast and at the Folk Club. One of the better musicians at the Folk Club told me he had played it to great effect at a party he attended. It's better with added hand-movements. The version I sing isn't exactly the original, but it's pretty close. See here for a picture of "Two cocoanuts". We do "Three dried Squid" and "Four Cans of Poi". The rest is much the same.

6. Because marmosets are too oily.