table manners

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:01 am

I come from a culture where table manners are non-existant because growing up we didn't have a kitchen table. Much of my family don't have a table in the kitchen, or if they do it's used for shelving and nobody ever sits there to eat, etc.

I always knew that "proper table manners" existed because I heard about them on the TV, but my family always ate on the couch or in our bedrooms. Always.

Anyway, here in college I eat at a table. And somebody the other day politely whispered to me that cutting your food with a fork isn't polite, that you should use a knife in the left hand and hold the food down with the fork in the right hand.

This seemed really strange to me, so I asked the person why, and got a blank stare.

So now I'm asking C&Fers. Why is it not polite to cut your food with only a fork? And why does it matter which hand the fork is in?

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:10 am

I'm not totally sure why, Cran...I'd be as stumped as you.
People look at me funny anyways when I eat, because I hold my fork in my left hand and my knife in my right; it's something that I picked up while living in Canada that just became habit over time, now I cant eat with my fork in my right hand!

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:16 am

I understand some table manners (i.e., don't pick your nose), but this left me completely puzzled.

susnfx · Post by **susnfx** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:17 am

Once I had a lovely elderly neighbor who'd been born and raised in England but moved to the U.S. when she married her husband (just after WWII, I think). She stood in church one day and told us this story as an example of not judging others. She said that one night she'd gone to a church dinner and, as she'd been raised, ate her vegetables with her knife. A woman sitting across from her stared and finally told her that you don't eat vegetables with a knife, but with a fork. Olive looked at her sweetly and said, "Go to hell."

Susan

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:20 am

susnfx wrote:Once I had a lovely elderly neighbor who'd been born and raised in England until she married her husband (just after WWII, I think). She stood in church one day and told us this story as an example of not judging others. She said that one night she'd gone to a church dinner and, as she'd been raised, ate her vegetables with her knife. A woman sitting across from her stared and finally told her that you don't eat vegetables with a knife, but with a fork. Olive looked at her sweetly and said, "Go to hell."

Susan

LMAO!

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:22 am

Tyler Morris wrote:
susnfx wrote:Once I had a lovely elderly neighbor who'd been born and raised in England until she married her husband (just after WWII, I think). She stood in church one day and told us this story as an example of not judging others. She said that one night she'd gone to a church dinner and, as she'd been raised, ate her vegetables with her knife. A woman sitting across from her stared and finally told her that you don't eat vegetables with a knife, but with a fork. Olive looked at her sweetly and said, "Go to hell."

Susan
LMAO!

And just imagining the old lady British accent makes it even more wonderful!

Turtle · Post by **Turtle** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:23 am

Next time tell them your parole officer forbade you from being
anywhere near a knife.

Post by **Dale** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:23 am

Some table manners are common sense courtesy (you cited an example) and some are a bit archaic (no elbows on the table). Complaiing about cutting your food with a fork seems a little picky, especially in an informal college environment.

So, you could probably find a little guide to table manners via Google?

Dale

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:27 am

here's the results of a search on Wikipedia...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Se ... le+manners

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:30 am

DaleWisely wrote:So, you could probably find a little guide to table manners via Google?

Indeed I could, but then I would have never have gotten to hear about Olive!

chas · Post by **chas** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:32 am

I'm with Tyler -- I've never been in a situation in which it's been considered impolite to cut food with a fork. I also eat with the fork in my left hand and the knife in my right -- I've heard this called "Continental style." Many Americans cut with the fork in the left and the knife in the right, then put the knife down and eat with the fork in the right.

Table manners are pretty simple. Don't eat most foods with your hands (things like bread are always okay; also pizza, fried chicken (not that you'd eat that, Cran), stuff like that). Don't reach across people to get the salt; politely ask for it to be passed. Put a napkin in your lap, use it when something dribbles down your chin. Don't make armpit farts, especially if the guy you know is gonna laugh at them has a mouthful of milk.

missy · Post by **missy** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:40 am

perhaps it's just me, but I've always thought it to be bad manners to correct other's behavior in public (unless it was something life threatening, of course)...........

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:41 am

chas wrote:...Don't make armpit farts...

Or real farts....

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:44 am

Manners will differ between social classes, and also situationally.
I once heard a story of a man who's girlfriend was raised wealthy, and
was adament about the manners she had learned. This was fine when
they were at fancy resturaunts, but once they were at a sports bar,
and she freaked out when he ate his chicken fingers with his hands.
He left her.

College is where people start to learn about others' differences in
upbringing and culture. It might be a good time to inform your friend
that it might be in his/her best interest to relax...

The big ones most people agree on, when at a fancy resturaunt, are:
put the napkin in your lap, no elbows on the table, put your bread on
the little bread plate. If it's really fancy, like a sitdown wedding
reception, then when a woman stands up to leave the table, all the
men should rise until she has departed (I have NO idea why that is).

I don't know why the fork hand matters, but I think I remember that
it is the opposite hand in the US and the UK.

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:55 am

fearfaoin wrote:Manners will differ between social classes, and also situationally.
I once heard a story of a man who's girlfriend was raised wealthy, and
was adament about the manners she had learned. This was fine when
they were at fancy resturaunts, but once they were at a sports bar,
and she freaked out when he ate his chicken fingers with his hands.
He left her.

College is where people start to learn about others' differences in
upbringing and culture. It might be a good time to inform your friend
that it might be in his/her best interest to relax...

I agree...don't let anyone get ya down about it Cran. If they have a problem with the way that you eat, it's just that...it's their problem.