If you didn't like Rebecca Black's "Friday" ...

[Nanohedron]

In general I'd say that the lyrics and the music are far separated from the singer as Ark Music Factory has the tunes pre-made and later the performer gets the piece.

So is it possible she's under contract with AMF and has to do whatever detestable garbage they throw at her? Some career that would be.

[I.D.10-t]

ARK Music Factory

Think of them more as a Vanity press, although the singer doesn't get publishing rights. The individual pays $2000-4000 and ARK writes and produces the material with some collaboration* of the performer. That is pretty much where the contract begins and ends. At best, it might be useful for a portfolio.

*From the old Rebbecca Black interviews this collaboration seemed to be choosing one of two songs.

[Nanohedron]

So basically it's even worse. You pay a good chunk for the privilege of singing their drivel. ARK must be laughing their butts off all the way to the bank.

[fearfaoin]

ARK Music Factory

Think of them more as a Vanity press...

Does anyone else remember the "record yourself" booths at malls and amusement parks? You would go into a recording booth and sing over a karaoke track and they'd put it on a CD for you to take home. Later I guess they added a green screen so you could make a video DVD (if this scene from Community is to be believed).

Anywho, I think of Ark as the culmination of such services. Heck, I always assumed they set up shop in a mall.

[Nanohedron]

Okay, I read some more of the Wiki article on ARK (Ark? Both in the article page, but there's no mention of any acronym), and it says "Ark then writes and produces music in collaboration with these artists [client performers]." Too vague. "Collaboration" could mean the money that changed hands, for all I know. But, if the clients have any input in making the songs, then they may rightly be taken to task for more than simply having the bad taste to do them. Consent to content works too, in my book. If it were just a kawaii girlie song of lackluster merit I could go "meh" and simply move on, but that "balling" business goes against my grain, both in general and in particular with this.

At one point last evening I listened to myself snarking about something and remarked to a friend doing stuff in the kitchen, "You know, I'm really becoming a success at being an old crank, aren't I." He nodded his head.

[mutepointe]

Oh good, I get to be the first to point out that the Geisha are Japanese and not Chinese.

When Steve Colbert does a remake, that's when this can be called a hit.

[Nanohedron]

Oh good, I get to be the first to point out that the Geisha are Japanese and not Chinese.

Were there geisha in the vid? I didn't get that far. I just stuck with the lyrics, because after the first verse I figured I'd gotten the gist well enough to make my escape.

I thought the plug for Panda Express was slicing the cheese pretty thick. They probably co-sponsored the song.

[fearfaoin]

I thought the plug for Panda Express was slicing the cheese pretty thick. They probably co-sponsored the song.

Brand-name dropping is pretty much part and parcel of rap.
If you got to the panda part, you just missed the geisha. But don't correct that.

[Nanohedron]

If you got to the panda part, you just missed the geisha. But don't correct that.

I was just reading the lyrics at that point. Like I said, after the first verse or so of the vid, I was done with that. But one thing is almost guaranteed to work with me every time, and that is to tell me not to do something, because then I'll probably do it. And so I did.

Oh good, I get to be the first to point out that the Geisha are Japanese and not Chinese.

Calling them "geisha" is pretty generous; it took a while for it to click with me what the heck they were supposed to be. But how do you know that they were Japanese and not Latino or whatever?

[fearfaoin]

I was just reading the lyrics at that point. Like I said, after the first verse or so of the vid, I was done with that.

Oh, reading. I thought you meant you were just listening to the lyrics and not letting your eyes share in your ears' suffering.

Oh good, I get to be the first to point out that the Geisha are Japanese and not Chinese.

Calling them "geisha" is pretty generous; it took a while for it to click with me what the heck they were supposed to be. But how do you know that they were Japanese and not Latino or whatever?

The ethnicity of the "dancers" aside, just the fact that they're not in a song about Sushi rubs mutepointe the wrong way. What a pedant.

[Nanohedron]

Oh, reading. I thought you meant you were just listening to the lyrics and not letting your eyes share in your ears' suffering.

Oh, hell, no. I am too sensitive a creature to endure sight or sound of that effort for long. Reading the lyrics was barfworthy enough.

The ethnicity of the "dancers" aside, just the fact that they're not in a song about Sushi rubs mutepointe the wrong way. What a pedant.

Yeah, he's so gauche. Everyone knows that for real Americans, all East Asians are Chinese. Is that so difficult? I mean, seriously.

[mutepointe]

No, our local Chinese buffets serve sushi, they serve crawdads and frog legs too, but they sure as heck don't dress up like Geisha.

[I.D.10-t]

If Geisha are Japanese, then why do they sell so many Mandarin oranges?

[Brus]

If Geisha are Japanese, then why do they sell so many Mandarin oranges?

Only the panda knows. And he's not telling.

[Nanohedron]

Everyone knows that for real Americans, all East Asians are Chinese.

... our local Chinese buffets serve sushi ...

I rest my case.

... they serve crawdads and frog legs too ...

But how they serve them remains the question. If they're in the French and/or Cajun style, then those restauranteurs are beyond question way addled. Instead of "Chinese" on their signage, they should just say "Foreign".

... but they sure as heck don't dress up like Geisha.

You bet they don't. They couldn't afford it. No one but real geisha could, and that's with patronage. So everyone should just take the stupid chopsticks out of their hair and quit trying to play at what they don't have a clue about. It's an embarrassment.