manners question re: loud music

[Tyghress]

There is also the sociology of community vs individual. Your music interferes with a community activity....their music interferes with an individual(s).

[Ridseard]

In The Art of War, Sun Tzu says: "If equally matched, we can offer battle; if slightly inferior in numbers, we can avoid the enemy; if quite unequal in every way, we can flee from him. Though an obstinate fight may be made by a small force, in the end it must be captured by the larger force."

I think this means to take a walk on Sunday mornings.

[jeffmiester]

Sounds to me like nobody in the church is actually complaining, just your granny. I would prolly' just keep on like you are until someone actually complains to you (which might not even happen.)

I mean think about it..... if you can hear their music, how loud is your lil whistle gonna sound? Or a cd for that matter......

[Rando7]

What do you think?

Take the high road, be a nice person and hold things down during the services. There's nothing wrong with being considerate even if you don't feel it's reciprocated.

[jim_mc]

Headphones work well for me when others might be disturbed by my stereo. When I'm the one being disturbed (often, since I sleep during the day), earplugs do the trick.

I practice whistle and fife only during reasonable hours - afternoon and early evening. I live in a townhouse, attached to the neighbors on both sides, and haven't ever had a complaint.

[Monster]

Nanohedron wrote
Jerry, no one on this board can match you when it comes to upaya.

Upaya? "What is Upaya?"



Edited because of bad grammer!

[Ridseard]

Upaya? "What is Upaya?"

According to www.upaya.org, it is Sanskrit for for "skillful means" or "the craft of compassion."

[cowtime]

I, again , know what you mean. I can remember as a kid, visiting my grandparents, being kept awake by the religious services being held in the neighbor's house across the road from them.

I also, seem to remember that you are living with your grandmother, in her house. I think that should be a factor, when faced with her request to tone it down during the services at the church she attends.

Finally, Jerry has given you excellent advice. Plus, you may reap momentary satisfaction from any retaliation, but, in the long run , you will cause harm. No one benefits from that in the long run.

[Redwolf]

I can't imagine anyone would be bothered by your playing music when people are LEAVING the service, unless it's so loud it would bother any reasonable person at just about any time of the day (or the lyrics so obnoxious that most reasonable people would be offended). If no one but your grandmother has complained, I think it's safe to assume that no one but your grandmother is bothered. And if people really are bothered, is it that hard to wait until they're gone (or at least until most of them have retired to the Fellowship Hall for coffee hour)?

To a great extent, being a neighbor to a church is like being any other kind of neighbor...mutual respect is the key. Most churches with residential neighbors do actually try to limit out-of-doors music to times when most people are likely to be up and about...and if a neighbor sleeps at an unusual time (say someone who does shiftwork), they will be more than happy to take that person's needs into consideration when planning outside services or fellowship functions...if that person approaches the pastor in a spirit of neighborly friendliness rather than simply appearing in his office with loud demands. If you're regularly being woken up by loud music at a time when you really need to be sleeping, you might try arranging a meeting with the pastor of the church to discuss the problem...I'm sure a solution can be worked out. On the other hand, if you're upset because they're singing on Sunday mornings, well...that's a little like living next to an airport and being upset because planes are flying overhead.

Living next to a church, you are, I'm sure, aware that music is part of their worship, and there WILL be times when it's likely to be audible. Frankly, music of some sort is an important part of worship in the majority of Christian churches...whether it be Palestrina anthems or Praise Choruses. There are also going to be lots of hours in any given day when no one is even around the church, or when no worship is going on, and thus when there's no reason why you can't enjoy your loud music to your heart's content without worrying about bothering a single soul (well, with the possible exception of your other neighbors). Give and take is the key. Be a good neighbor to the church, and you will likely find them to be equally good neighbors to you.

Our church is located downtown, and our lawn and the sidewalks around it attract all kinds of people...many of whom play instruments with varying degrees of skill. We will go out and ask them to refrain or move on if they're playing loudly enough to be heard inside the building during a service or choir rehearsal, but the rest of the time, well...they're just part of being a downtown church, and no one is particularly bothered by them.

Lolly...I'm saddened that you would assume that the members of this church are "hypocrites." I see no indication of that at all in Cranberry's post.

Redwolf

[JohnPalmer]

What is loud? My dad used to say that he could hear my piano playing from the backyard, and so might the neighbors. But just hearing it, is it loud? Once I played a song by the band Yes, for my mom. She said it was too loud, so I turned it down. She said it was still too loud. So I turned it down somemore. Eventually, the volume got turned down so far that we couldn't hear the record, anymore. Personally, I don't like to hear the constant thump of the bass from someone's car, as it drives by the house, or when it is next to me in traffic. I also don't like it if I think that the neighbors can hear MY music playing. It's all about consideration. And about consideration: have you considered maybe playing in that choir behind you? Many churches PAY people to play. Of course, I would still go, even if they didn't pay me.

[Jack]

This has gotten....really deep. I didn't expect all kinds of philosophy and stuff. Wow.

Anyway, I'm not staying with my (other) grandma now, I'm at my momma's house (till November at least at which point it looks like I"m going to Michigan. Yay.) this grandma just lives near enough to the church to hear my music when they're coming out to go home. When I'm playing whistle, sometimes it's on the porch , but I doubt they can hear me inside the church, it's made of cinderblocks. Yesterday I saw that they were out there and I turned off the fan in the window and picke up my susato and started playing Amazing Grace 8va. :roll: I agree, Jerry, being told not to do something makes people want to do it more....and just not feeding into it makes you more of a person but I don't think I'm that evolved yet. I can hear them, and it's not always a bad thing, the only time it bothers me is when I'm basically told not to make any noise because they are and they're a church and I'm not. I just wish that if they had a problem somebody besides her would come tell me.

They have church 5 times a week (twice on Sundays and Wednesdays and once on Mondays), but they don't always sing at each gathering (though if you're quite you can hear the preaching, which is why I bounce basketballs off the side when they're doing that (kidding)).

[brewerpaul]

[quote

Upaya? "What is Upaya?"
![/quote]

It's a tropical fruit, isn't it?

[mat]

Two words.......................play on.

[Monster]

Upaya? "What is Upaya?"

According to www.upaya.org, it is Sanskrit for for "skillful means" or "the craft of compassion."

Yes, Jerry does have upaya! Seems like a litte upaya could go a looooong, looooong, way. Here's to upaya! Although it is a good thing to take the high road and apply a little upaya here and there, it seems it could be, overlooked simply because a potentialy volatile situation has been diffused before it becomes, well, volatile. Example:

Motorized upaya. You are driving through a parking lot and are obeying the conventions of the particular lot, following the arrows etc, when all of a sudden someone comes cutting across the aisle, speeding, weaving around parked vehicles etc. and almost runs into you. You deftly avoid the errant vehicle and go about your business; hey instant upaya! No fingers are waved, no shouting at the driver of said errant vehicle, you just go about your business and nobody notices.

My question, is this upaya, or is it something else?

[Martin Milner]

You could start your own church...